I had been trained to recognize incidents of manifested psychotic behaviors, but most of that training had been centered on traumatic events as the usual cause.  I did not consider my recent divorce as a recognizable trauma in my life, and I surely had not undergone any physical trauma in the traditional sense. So why had this sudden incident manifested itself clear atop a mountain and at the opportune time of our conversation. My companions seemed to have been unaware of what had transpired and this in itself was a relief to me, for fear of stereotyped convictions, and in isolating myself from the others as they would have perceived me mentally distraught and somewhat a lunatic had I made mention of the event.

 We continued to travel mile after mile throughout that day, until sunset had fallen, all the while fleeting thoughts and unanswered questions continued to consume my head with every step taken. I had begun to question my own sanity throughout that evening. Was I at a point of physical and mental exhaustion, could this be the results of too much physical exertion, was I at the point of dehydration and having hallucinations as a result of combined physical fatigue?  Surely I must have been prepared physically for this. I was in the prime of my physical conditioning, having taken several smaller treks with more physical requirements, and having recently completed my military training, etc. I was not feeling any ill effects as to ailments aside from the accompanying soreness that was typical for the terrain.

What exactly had transpired, and what was I to do with this event? I was unable to get past that overwhelming feeling of peace and tranquility that swept over me during that moment. It seemed to have been implanted in my physical and now spiritual being. I began having fleeting thoughts and visions of personal growth as a spiritual being, and an interconnectedness with all things around me. I had begun to see things from different perspectives. Small things would capture my attention, words spoken took on new and different meanings, I was able to see and feel the energies emitted from individuals, and all that surrounded me.

What had happened? Was I now in another realm of the universe? Had I somehow been yanked from reality and thrown into this virtual world or worse into the throws of my own minds desires and shadows. Had I gone off the deep end, and to be forever locked in this new world manifested from unknown origins? Was it possible, just maybe, that I had been granted a gift. A gift from an outside source unbenounced to me? These and so many other questions continued to plague me for several days. My companions on occasion would ask if things were ok with me. Seems I had become somewhat isolated in conversations during the few days that followed this incident. I knew I needed answers if I was to understand the transpired event, but was unsure just how to go about getting them without raising a flag as to my mental stability.

I began to throw out occasional questions directing them toward my companions, usually from their perceived observations of me. Questions such as; what kind of person do I strike you as? Do you consider me as an observer or as someone who is a “go-getter”? And so forth.  Reaching for understanding, trying to grasp how others perceived me having only known me for a few short months, but feeling like a lifetime.

It wasn’t until several months had past, having completed my trek; I began to understand the events having transpired. I found myself in a pattern of wanting to gain knowledge of Native American traditions, beliefs, and so forth. I had also begun to notice a thought pattern developing from within the confines of my being. I found myself wanting to become closer to Mother Earth in magnified strength. I would take every opportunity to be with her, among her bounty, and to enjoy all there was. I found myself feeling her pains and strife, and her victories. I could feel her heartbeat.  I felt this overwhelming need to express those feelings, I had begun capturing her with photographs, writing words that flowed from the heart, and feeling the need to help others understand the gifts we had been given custody of.

I had become a “Counselor”, a messenger for her, a messenger for the Great Spirit. I returned to Vermont after my trek, with this incredible urge to shout out and reach all that I could with my message. An opportunity had arisen to take employment at a youth camp in Florida. I researched this program and found it to be a calling just waiting for me. It was a program working with youth and youth at risk in a wilderness setting.  I had applied for and completed the necessary applications, interviews, etc. at a branch camp in lower Vermont. I had been accepted given my military and psychology background and my knowledge of the great outdoors having just completed my recent trek. I packed my belongings and was then relocating to sunny Florida.